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The Silent Mostly Male Epidemic

The truth is out, depression is not a “female disease” – Men of all ages are suffering often alone and often in silence.

Why are they suffering alone and in silence?

Maybe its that tough guy male thing where we’re all right and we can stand on our own two feet. Grrrrr. Well, the truth is that many men in middle age and above still believe that depression is a stigma and its what other people get, but not them. Regrettably many men dismiss some of the signs of depression to their cost. It doesn’t occur to them, and it it does they quickly dismiss the idea that irritability, sleeping too much or too little, unable to deal with stress and sometimes anger and a sense of hopelessness are all things that will pass, yet in realty these are signs of depression at various levels.

Whereas generally, women will often seek help or talk to others, men in their 40’s, 50’s and 60’s simply don’t. Maybe this is down to not wanting to admit to it, or feeling a sense of failure or weakness. Women seem to have a better support structure around them and maybe are more used to speaking more openly about their feelings. But men, in failing or refusing to recognise or accept they have a problem can sometimes be a step towards serious mental and physical health issues and also even suicide.

What is the cause of this?

Many men begin to suffer when a change impacts on their lives, perhaps a job change, redundancy, pressure of work and business, a death in the family or even simply moving house, or sometimes “because it just does”, there are many reasons. 

What are the symptoms

  • Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
  • Fatigue and decreased energy
  • Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness
  • Feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
  • Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
  • Irritability, restlessness
  • Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex
  • Overeating/comfort eating or loss of appetite
  • Persistent aches or pains, headaches, or even digestive problems that do not ease with treatment
  • Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” feelings, feelings of being left out or left behind

So what is the answer?

The most important thing to be aware of is a change of general mood. One simply needs to step back and honestly look at themselves. One also needs to realise that this is very easily dealt with. Depression is a condition that could and maybe should be regarded as temporary and very treatable without medication, psychiatry or loss of face.

There are may resources available to everyone who even suspects they may have a issue, and want to ‘nip it in the bud’ before it becomes a problem. Often, all it takes is a confidential coffee and conversation with a health practitioner such as myself to get everything out on the table and see where you are on the following scale. 

On the extreme left you have “being fed up” and on the other end of the scale you have “clinical depression”.

  • Fed up?
    maybe all it takes is a bit or simple chatting through, maybe some motivational change in perspective.
  • Clinically depressed?
    Well you should be looking at professional intervention to get you back to who and where you want to be.
  • Somewhere in between?
    Well you have lots of options open to you including working with us. We would like to have this confidential conversation with you, either face to face or over the phone. We will talk though some of your user friendly options, including:
    – putting a simple plan of action together for you to work through on your own or with support
    – daily, weekly or however often you wish, conversations so that you are not dealing with this on your own
    – sharing information advice and guidance with you
    – a 56 day journey, completed online and with telephone “tutorials”
    – one of our Journals, for example the Habit Journal.

Honestly – get in touch for a chat. We’re completely independent, impartial and confidential, qualified in what we do, and enjoy working with individuals, and sometimes even groups and teams on how to get you from where yo are now to who and where you want to be.

Our details are below, and I would personally like to hear from you and deal with any questions or thoughts you might have.  

Richard Winterbourne